You were the wallflower of the party. As hours passed by, I got to see the social side of you. You opened up, shared a little more and tried to be on the same frequency as everyone else. It was amusing, seeing you laughing even at your own jokes. It didn’t cross my mind that one day, I would be yearning to see that smile of yours.
It was a beautiful connection. I thought it was an infatuation, but we fell hard and deep. So deep that it touched our hearts and souls. I can’t deny the fact that we grew so much when we were together. We became each other's strengths and weaknesses. You became my favourite hello and hardest goodbye. I became your muse.
Then the day came - it was so painful as you awakened my deepest, darkest fears. What we had was like a bouquet of blooming David Austin roses but now, they slowly wither away. Watching them die, was just too painful.
If we ever crossed paths again, I would not see you with hatred.
Minutes turned to hours, days turned to weeks and months turned to years. I could still feel your presence everywhere I go. Your scent is peculiar to my senses. Sometimes, I could even feel you breathing next to me. I had to wake myself up from those fantasies. I had to bring myself back to reality and when I did, my heart was in agony.
But I have been better than ever. I learnt so much after you left, about myself especially. My emotions are in balance now, my heart is at peace. Despite all the things you had done, I chose to see the goodness in you. If we ever crossed paths again, I would not see you with hatred.
I know I got to keep moving forward, wherever it is I am going, without picturing you in the future. But it is just so tough for me. You’re always at the back of my mind. Perhaps, I am still in love with you but I just couldn’t find it in me to acknowledge that fact. Or perhaps, I am just too afraid to let that star burn - afraid that it might not burn as brightly as before.